First Love in Christ Jesus

When I became a Christian, I ended my life and took up Jesus' life. I came to Christ with not much understanding of what I was really doing, but something burned in my heart, I just knew I wanted receive Jesus publicly although I knew of Jesus already. I remember being compelled to accept an alter call, after which, I'm sure I heard a voice say "it's your turn now". With conviction in my heart added to...

 ...nerves and adrenaline, I put up my hand to go, and went making sure to not look at anyone just in case they might object. While at the altar, someone came and placed their arm over me and began to ask me if I was ready to repent of my ways and sins and to accept Jesus into my heart and life. We kneeled and prayed. After we prayed, I thought something had happened to me that no-one knew about, I felt different, I felt separated from the things I used to do, the friends I was with. I went to pray with the adults in the prayer room and found the power of the Holy Spirit in prayer. I wanted to pray for people, but was shut up pretty quickly and found myself pretty lost. Out of insecurity(fear) and intimidation my salvation fervour was squashed, my passion dwindled and disappointment settled in.

"For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end" Hebrews 3:14 NKJV

Or from the Williams translation,

"For we have become real sharers of Christ, if we keep firm to the end the faith we had at first" Hebrews 3:14 

From my young Christian experience I saw that intimidation and fear are the enemies to the passion God places inside of you after you first became a real sharer of Christ Jesus. When we allow intimidation and fear to take part in our hearts we shrink back and disappointment can settle in(in God and Man). Disappointment can lead to judging others and not allowing room for forgiveness. Un-forgiveness leads to bitterness, and we will end up with a big ball of mess deep inside. Disappointment can take over our hearts and the word of God can't find it's way in any-more, the seeds of Gods word are stifled and can't take root, the ground becomes hard and rocky. I took offence as a young immature Christian and went in the direction of the world as a teenager, I lost the conviction of the Holy Spirit and made a bigger mess of my life. At 21 I repented and rededicated my life back to the Lord Jesus.(See page on Gods' Laws of Life for understanding on how life gets so messed up)

4But I have this [one charge to make] against you: that you have left(abandoned) the love that you had at first [you have deserted Me, your first love].5Remember then from what heights you have fallen. Repent (change the inner man to meet God’s will) and do the works you did previously [when first you knew the Lord], or else I will visit you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you change your mind and repent. Revelations 2:4-5

I believe it's time for many of us to let go, forgive and repent of long ago forgotten offences that have hindered the power and passion of our first love. I pray for you that the longing for that first love would overcome the hurts, to forgive and the need to have your heart healed that it may regain the passion and fire that you once cherished.

Stop having anything to do with profitless doings of darkness; instead you must continue to expose them; and yet anything that is exposed by the light is made clear to them, for anything that is made clear is light. So it is said: 

"Wake up, sleeper, Get up from the dead, And Christ will make day dawn on you" 

Hear audio or video on Bitter Roots and/or Heart of Stone for amazing understanding of healing the heart.
Bless you abundantly
Dan